News - Presidents Play Call Of Duty Warzone 2 - The Game Chat Fiasco

Hello, quick disclaimer: the voices in this article are computer-generated with artificial intelligence and do not reflect the views of the people they represent. This article is for satire and entertainment purposes only. It will be my Xbox and my account soon, Sleepy Joe I've been waiting all year to play Call of Duty.

It was only New Year's a couple days ago. I think I could ask one of the people who work here for the date. I forgot what I was talking about. Say, Donald, when will it be my turn? For God's sake, sleepy Joe. Donald Why did you bring your own Xbox controller? Why don't you use this one? It's my lucky controller.

What the heck is that sleepy Joe? What is that mess all over the controller? It's my lucky juice; it makes the controller all tingly, Sleepy Joe. I don't even know how to respond to that. I'm so glad that I brought my own headset. God forbid what yours looks like. Hold up donnie, please don't talk in game chat; you're going to get my account banned just like yours.

My account only got a temporary ban because I dominated the noobs and they couldn't handle a little bit of classic trash talking. Listen up, everyone. This is Donald Trump. We need to win, and we will because I am making Call of Duty great again. No, you did not hear his little giggle. Donald, you are not being mean to the people in game chat.

If you do, then I am turning the EXP box off. Is this mom doing frogs? Splash It's the British sleepy Joe. Please let me trash-talk them. I have some good ones, some Trump classics. No, you'll get me banned. Get back from sleepy Joe, I could make some British kids cry. No, Donald, that's Jordan.

Oh, did you hear that man's sigh? That's got to be Jordan. I wonder why he sighs. Is that lady, his wife, sleepy? Joe How would I know who Jordan is? Let me talk in game chat, and I can find out. You [__] You're a bit foul-mouthed. See, that's it. I'm going to have to say something, and we won't Who the hell is Jordan?

Tell him to shut up. Donald Muppet called me a muppet. What did he just say to me? That's it i'm dishing out the pain. Donald is just a little British. Did someone's basement get bloody with salty tears? Cry me a river, kiddo. Your wife laughs like A's witness. Did I ever mention that his wife laughs like a Jehovah's Witness?

I don't know anything that you just said, but Donald, you shouldn't start on his wife. Superin called you a virgin. I know that's it. You wouldn't dare talk to me like that in real life. You wouldn't have the guts. You're just a keyboard. Warrior, hiding behind your mommy's scheme Donald I'm kind of surprised that you haven't said anything racist or mean yet.

Good job, bud. [__] How did I die? Fake news, folks. The system was rigged, the lag was unbelievable, and my teammates were more sleepy than sleepy. Joe Biden You sh*t, there's nothing better than making a few British people angry, Donald. I need help. I can't hear the game without the headset.

I'm going to die. You play, and I get to talk to people in game chat. Someone goes to [__] spawn. Joe Biden's got two people. The British guy even said I had two people on me. I thought you couldn't hear anything. I just wanted to wear the headset and play the game. Whatever it's like, let me just go into game chat again.

Another beautiful win. Folks, we dominated those losers like I dominated being president; they're going to be talking about this one for years, Donald. I was playing that round. God, why do they keep calling me a virgin, fat guy who sat behind a computer on the desk? Crums all down him and everything.

7, monsters Donald, they're calling you fat. I know it's just a classic call. Do the insults, Donald. Why did you stutter? Are you crying? No, they just don't understand that I am big. Boned, that guy's got the Corona virus. I wonder if the British have stolen it from us, sleepy Joe. I don't even know how to talk to you; all you have to do is open your mouth and vibrate your vocal cords.

UAV Shield The Brits sure do like to talk about the riot shield. Yeah, it's because I have one and they don't. They are jealous. Don't let me see them. Ginger fingers, ginger fingers—that's it. I'm throwing this round. Donald, don't stop teabagging. No, Donald, you are ruining my life to death.

They heard me and called me poop, but with the s word, Donald, you are making me look terrible. Calm down, sleepy Joe; who cares what a few nerdy British kids think I do? They could become my best friends. RI Shield didn't do much, so here we go. Mr british guy has to make a comment about the riot shield.

You know what sleepy Joe I'm going to let him know exactly what this riot shield can do that riot shield co[__] your mom. Donald, that was a terrible insult, and that's coming from me. You think a student can do that? Ginger finger for ginger finger, what did my right shield comment strike a nerve with?

Puffs—that's what your fingers look like. Oh, are you going to take that, Donald? He said you have cheesy, puffy fingers. Dick, what is it? Dick, what kind of insult do people use these days? I remember the good old days when I would be playing Modern Warfare 2 and making kids cry. Now we have weird people saying Ginger Fingers and Watson.

KCK Joe bids in a box, and Lizzy's in a box. I never realized someone in the game was called that, and why does that even matter? It's just a name. Donald, don't you understand that the name is Lizzy in a Box? They are putting lizards in boxes. That's cruelty, Sleepy Joe. I think they mean the late Queen of England is in a box because she died.

Yeah, I know that's what I'm talking about. Boom, that's how it's done. Excellent work, Miss. is complete, Miss. Missed, silly Brit Donald Admit it, you would have had more fun if you used my controller. You mean the disgusting mess dripping with, I'm going to say, tomato sauce? I already told you it's my lucky juice; what about me?

You shot at everything except the person. Oh, Donald, you're going to take that. He said you shot at everything except the person. I don't care what they say because I have more important people to focus my attention on. It means the world to us, and we couldn't do this without you. So from the bottom of my beautiful, winning heart, I say thank you.

Come on, sleepy Joe, don't just stand there looking like a lost goldfish. Give the people what they want. Here, viewers, take this; it's my controller.